The cost to my call in the ministry, walking a path of righteousness, Kingdom Building and breaking generational curses for my family has been an amazing ride with many ups and downs. Through it all, there has been one constant--God's favor, grace, mercy and unconditional love. My name is Ms. Tabitha Wolchesky, LMSW, single mother of three amazing children, daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
My journey to the call started when I was 19 years of age or at least that is what I thought. I was not raised to be a believer. We did not as a family go to church while growing up. In fact to be transparent I did not believe or at least thought I did not believe there was a God. When I turned 19 years old almost 20 years of age, I went to a Baptist church with friends of mine and that was the moment or at least I thought was the moment I met God. I didn’t get saved that day but the preacher was talking just to me in a building of at least 300 people. I felt the calling at that moment in a church in New London CT. I felt His presence and I could not wait to get back to church to feel Him again. There had been a spark, a spark of what at that point I had no idea what would transpire for me for the next 20 plus years.
I would love to say that I took to the call and ran with it without sin or back sliding. I would love to say to you that learning to be obedient was easy and came naturally. But it did not, the walk has been transformational and at times some of the darkest places I have been. Sacrifice was easy for me, the scripture I Samuel 15:22 “to obey is better than sacrifice” was something I needed to digest and apply to my life. Walking this path has equal parts to being obedient to our Father’s word and His will for us. The sacrifice is not something that will harm us nor cause us to suffer but brings forth His good fruit. This lesson was important for me to learn so I could be about my Father’s business. It is still one I remind myself of often.
I can remember when I finally realized I had been called and there was a purpose a God given purpose to my life. My oldest daughter started to attend the youth ministry at the church we had been attending. I sat and listened to the other youth speak about life and the struggles they were having. I listen to them ask for guidance and love from those in the ministry. I started to get more and more involved with the youth ministry and then before you knew it there was a calling. A calling bigger than I could even imagine, a purpose that would not only change my life, my children’s life the life of my nieces and nephews and sisters but to some many more people that I could have ever imagined.
I sat in my car one day about a year or so after getting involved in the youth ministry parked on 95 south at 6am because there had been an accident and nobody was going anywhere and I was going too be late for an important meeting out of state. Who do you call at 6am? Nobody, so I sat with my bible and prayed and asked God what is it that He wants me do? What is the gift He has given me? How can I fulfill my destiny that the preacher keeps preaching about that is locked up inside me? You see I’m now 35 years old never married with three children. I had spent some time away from God since I started my walk at 19. I have sinned numerous times; I had no back ground in the church or the business of the church. I wasn’t sure of my identity given to me by my Father. How was I Tabitha Wolchesky a wretch going to do Kingdom Building? How was I to honor my Father’s word and walk this path? I had tried before and failed, sinned, backslide, went to the alter; gone up to be prayed over and “delivered” but did not feel as though I was worthy to be who He had called me to be.
For some or for many it is easy to listen to the enemy tell you, you are not worthy to fulfill the call on your life. You are not prepared, anointed, gifted, and wealthy enough to do what God is asking you to do. For me I could hear other’s in my life telling me I would not be able to achieve the goals I had set out to do in life. But as I prayed and studied His word and ate of His bread that I was being feed daily. As I started to seek His face and surround myself around those who could see me as God seen me I was able to believe more that I could walk this path.
There is a sobering freeing feeling when you have not felt the unconditional love of the Father or anyone to understand the things you felt were stumbling blocks and disqualified you to do ministry was the exact reason God chose you to do His work. As I searched for God he prepared a path for me. In order for me to walk this path I had to sever relationship’s long time relationships. I had to separate myself from my family. They did not understand what was happening in my life. It meant I no longer was going to drink with them; I went to church and bible study as I got closer in my relationship with God the more I changed the more I changed the smaller my circle became. Friendship’s I had for over 20 years were no more the same. I was called names and my family thought I had joined a cult and stopped talking to me. When the preacher would say in his sermon Psalms 27:10 “When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me”. Meant more to me than I could express to anyone ever and still to this day I have learned to lean on the Lord for He has always taken care of me.
I would not change my journey with God at all. He knows my ending before my beginning. He has always been with me. I have been healed and I have been restored, my family is stronger now that I have accepted the call on my life. The call is what I walk out each day regardless of where I am. I do my best to walk in His light even when the enemy is coming at me full force. I have learned the call is not confined within the four walls of the church. The call is about walking as disciple’s spreading God’s love through the actions we do each day with each interaction we have with people. The call is learning out what your gift is and using it each day. The call is about making divine connections and not judging. The call is asking for forgiveness and knowing you have been forgiven and you can forgive yourself. The call is to continue to up hold the relationship you have built with God and sharing it with others not just other believers.
The first scripture I ever learned is Phil 4:13 “I can do all things in Christ which strengthen me”. This scripture is my favorite. This scripture is not about my strength it is about me always needing my Father’s strength to get through the storm’s, the calm, the joy and anything else that comes my way. What I would tell anyone especially a woman with scars, guilt, shame, wounds that is searching for her call. Searching for her gift, her purpose her life in Him. Is those scars, imperfections, transgressions, wounds are what makes you perfect to be called by Him. They are beautiful; they are what will help you do Kingdom Building. Do not give up do not share everything God has given to you with everybody for not everybody will celebrate you and your purpose. Continue to read the word seek His face. Find out what your passion is because your passion is your destiny waiting for you to birth just what God has for you. Jer 29:11 “ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”. Please do not let anyone tell you, you are not called because you do not fit a cookie cutter. You have been called by God and he will never box you in and He does not fit in a box. You are made in His image; you are more than a conqueror you are more than what someone told you. The ride is amazing enjoy it celebrate it.